


Two minutes

by Pinophyta



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types, Dark Knight (2008)
Genre: M/M, armor licking, batsuit appreciation, no unmasking, rubber fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 20:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7283941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinophyta/pseuds/Pinophyta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker gets the chance to examine Batman's gorgeous suit from up close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two minutes

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to show some appreciation for Batman's suit, and do it through the Joker's eyes. So here is a short thing.

Tick-tock.

Two minutes. Give or take.

It was how long the gas could knock an adult male out for. On average. Given Batman's build, it might be a little less. The Joker doesn't have a moment to lose.

It wasn't planned, not really. A stronger gas would have been nice, but he couldn't have known.

Step. Step. Step. Three seconds. He licks his lips. The Bat is knocked cold on the floor, next to a column. Watching him stumble and lie down had been funny. But laughing time is over, and the Joker approaches with extreme caution. He knows his tricks. He loves his tricks. He is almost tempted to dive right in and spring them all, but manages to contain himself.

He's laying on top of his cape. It shimmers under fluorescent light, like a pool of black liquid. Even without touching it the Joker can see it's soft, almost delicate, most likely cold.

Nine seconds. 

He takes another step. This is the closest he's ever been, outside of a fight. And the first time he has a chance to see him under decent lighting.

The Joker is nervous. He toys with the knife, hands slippery inside of his gloves. He doesn't intend to use it, it's there to give him something to do with his hands. Although it never hurts to be prepared.

He leans forward, unwittingly holding his breath. There's the mouth. It's pretty, but he's seen it before. His eyes are closed, and if it weren't for the frown of his cowl, he would look peaceful. He remembers the shock trap and smirks. It feels like ages ago. Knowing his face isn't as important to him nowadays.

Eyes drift down. He traces the bat relief with his gaze. No time to take his glove off and caress it, like he wants to. Start at one pointy end, and make a path across the Bat's chest towards the other. Rubber and thick military grade plating between his finger and Batman's heart.

Thirty seconds.

He falters. It looks so inviting, he's tempted to touch, but he can't. He wants to know, wants to see, archive every detail of the Bat's anatomy in his mind.

The rubber is so perfect, he needs to lean a bit more to appreciate it. It looks pristine, not a mote of dust on it, no signs of wear and tear. Perhaps it was a new armor. A guy so prone to getting beaten, shot at, stabbed and set on fire must need a good amount of spares.

It reminds him of velvet. No. It's better than that. He forgets about the muscles underneath, and all he cares about is the rubber. Like the cowl is Batman's true face, this is Batman's true skin. He wants to pat each plate, run his fingers through every slit, feel the synthetic fibers under his fingertips.

Forty five seconds. Not a good time to pop a boner, but it looks like it's going to happen anyway.

He looks at his gloves. They look a bit more worn than the chest plate, but still gorgeous and intense. And so, so strong. He knows how capable those hands are, of punching, grabbing and lifting. Relentless. Strong around his neck.

He remembers the smell. Hands tightly closed on his lapels, pushing him up, the gloves pressed close to his face...

And he wonders...

Sixty seconds. Better hurry.

He places a hand on the floor, next to the Bat's head, but without touching. He bows down, carefully, carefully. He doesn't want to touch. He's just looking.

The smell is strong, intoxicating. With no traces of the knockout gas in the air, and his nose an inch apart from Batman's chest, the pure chemical smell of rubber floods his senses. He sees the relief in detail now, and licks his lips on reflex, repressing a strong urge to kiss it. Not a good time. He's too drunk on the material to want more. 

Eighty seconds.

He bows his head. His hair is touching the Bat's chest. His free hand wanders over his abdominal plates, over the buckle of his belt. He knows better than to touch that thing, rigged with all sorts of traps.

He inhales deeply, again, and again, and he feels dizzy. He licks his lips, his tongue entertains itself over the rough texture of his scars for a second. He needs to keep his mouth occupied, otherwise he'll lean forward and attempt to taste.

And he does. He does, because he can't help himself.

Ninety seconds.

He doesn't want to make a mess of that beautiful armor, so he's careful. He begins where Batman's bellybutton should be, where four armor plates join to protect his belly. It's intense. The matte finish is delightful on his tongue, in both texture and taste. He moves up, not in one go but in several smaller ones. By the time he reaches his chest, he's afraid of passing out. His lips graze over the underside of a pectoral plate, and he stops. He breathes in. He's getting too light headed.

A hundred and twenty seconds.

He pushes himself up a little bit. He inspects the armor and finds no traces of red lipstick anywhere. Proud, he smiles.

He looks up, slowly, and finds the Bat's eyes looking back.

The kick knocks what little air was on his lungs out, and he lands painfully on his back. He's laughing the whole way through, and doesn't attempt to get up.

Two minutes. A hundred and twenty seconds. Given Batman's build, maybe a little less.

He laughs. 

How long was he awake?

**Author's Note:**

> (I like to headcanon that Joker has a massive boner for the suit, and has very little or no interest in taking it off, if you know what I mean. There should be more stories where Batsy keeps his clothes AND mask on, if you ask me.)
> 
> Thanks for reading and i hope you liked it.


End file.
